Under The Rock

Evan_ST · Joined: 05 Feb 2013 Posts: 61

As election season ramps up, we are seeing an emergence of a number of new parties. The women's equality party has formed to advance women's rights, the anti-common core party has been formed to stop the advancement of the controversial common core education movement, and the Anti-carbon cores party has been formed in an effort to restore more of Rockland's land to the natural creatures it has been taken from. All of the parties seem to have strong candidates in the running, though some people we have interviewed seem to think that the Anti-carbon core party might be trying to capitalize on name confusion to gain more votes. Officials from the both the Anti-common core and the Anti-carbon core parties refused to comment.

In other news, the heroin epidemic that seems to running rampant through the hudson valley seems to have slowed down here in Orange. Although the county police haven't publicly reported any huge significant busts, it seems that the addicts are crawling out of their skin because supplies are running low. Detox facilities are at capacity trying to handle all the cases of addicts unable to get a fix. We here at this station are proud of our county's fine law enforcement and strongly encourage all addicts or family members of addicts to call 888-call-SIDD for help with this problem. After having such a turbulent year, it's good to see a drop in the violence and crime that has been associated with this epidemic.

***Your favorite reporter Maria VellaLobos here with your latest edition of Monsters in Your Backyard****
Maria says, "Sorry it has been so long since my last segment, but it would seem that certain people are scared of what I have to say. Happily, I was able to get passed the false accusations levied against me and I'm here to report once again. Only, this time, it seems that the monsters in our backyard have been silenced and according to one man, he thinks that we have a new business in the county to thank for that. "
***The camera pans away from Maria to show a group of people inside a ring of candles, in a wooded area, all holding hands and chanting***
Maria says, "It seems these good people are casting spells of protection all around the county after being given courses and supplies from a brand new shop called Ali Baba's antiques. I don't know if it's a happy coincidence or if there's true power in these ceremonies, but I for one plan on stopping by that antique store and saying "thanks for caring about us!
That's your edition of Monsters in Your Backyard, back to you Stewart."